The Fake Store
Every museum exits through a gift shop, so ours exits through an honest one: everything below is fake. Fake prices, fake stock, fake shipping, real jokes. The buy buttons work perfectly — they just tell you the truth. This store sells homework.
The MALA Cap
MAKE AMERICA LITERATE AGAIN, in stitching nobody will read, which proves the point.
The Trilogy Box Set
The Deal · The Real · The Debate. The third one tests the other two. The box tests your shelf.
The Art of the Admission — Hardcover
Free as an epub upstairs (type tds). This imaginary edition costs imaginary money and ships imaginarily.
Yo Mama’s Gavel
Court-tested. Bench-cleared. Comes pre-overruled. (Type juddy to hear it work.)
The Sharing Fax Machine
Share like you mean it. Toner sold separately, in 1997.
The READ-THE-RECORD Tote
Holds exactly one record. The whole record. Yes, even the boring exhibits.
The Semicolon Pin — Silver
Wear the sentence that kept going. *The one item we’d ever make real — and if we ever do, every cent goes to the 988 Lifeline. Today: still fake, still meant.
The Maker’s Clock (Wall Edition)
Reads HH;MM forever. Technically wrong, philosophically punctual. Batteries not included; sentence not concluded.