Domestic violence is not tolerated here.

Not excused. Not minimized. Not “both-sided.” Not laughed off. In this house there is no version of harming the person you claim to love that gets a pass.

No “locker room talk.”

The oldest dodge is to dress abuse — or the threats and degradation that lead to it — as “just talk,” “banter,” “locker room talk,” “boys being boys.” That is the Minimization move, plain and named: shrinking something that is not small so it can pass uncontested. Words that threaten, control, or degrade a partner are not jokes. And calling them jokes is how the harm hides.

So this house does the one thing that defeats the move: it names it. "It was just talk" is not a defense. It's the tell.

What is actually true

Believe survivors. The shame belongs to the person who caused the harm — never the one who endured it. Leaving is often the most dangerous moment, not the easiest, so “why didn’t they just leave” is the wrong question; “why did he do it, and who let it slide” is the right one.

You can love someone and still not be safe with them. Safety is not negotiable;

The floor of the house

Here, dignity is the floor — and you don’t get to vote on the floor. Not charm, not status, not “he’s a good guy otherwise,” not a locker-room shrug gets to price a person’s safety below a man’s comfort. Only humans confer worth, and no one’s worth includes being someone else’s punching bag.