Every game in the house · honestly stolen · custom for all players · less than a cup of coffee
The Arcade.
TL;DREvery Only Humans Score game in one hub: Type the Machine (music typing), Spot the Lie (daily), the party game, Jigsaw, Sudoku, Museum Jeopardy, and the Royal Game of Ur.
All of it in one place — and every game wears its provenance on the card, because these games are stolen, essentially, and we say so: the mechanics are borrowed from the classics and the classics are cited by name. Copy me never, cite me always.™ Custom for all players — reading-level slider, audio mode, keyboard or tap, reduced-motion honored, works offline. Total price: less than a cup of coffee. It's free; the coffee comparison is generosity toward coffee.
🎹
the front door
Type the Machine
Every keystroke is a real note; your typos are awarded — only humans err. The most universal door, no reading required.
Stolen from: the player piano and the typing tutor — two machines that taught humans for a century. Ours awards the mistake instead of docking it.
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🕵️
daily + practice
Spot the Lie
Two truths and a lie, written by the machine. Catch it. One daily puzzle with a shareable result, plus endless practice.
Stolen from: Two Truths and a Lie — the campfire icebreaker, author unknown, owned by everyone. We handed the liar's chair to the machine.
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🎨
with friends
The Party Game
The machine paints a clue, everyone names it, and you crown the best, the worst, and whoever caught the machine bluffing.
Stolen from: every parlor game where the room does the judging — the whole charades-to-card-table family tree. The new part: the machine plays and still can't score.
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🧩
up to 300 pieces
Jigsaw
The museum's infographics, cut into a real interlocking jigsaw. The machine drew it in gray; only a human puts it back together.
Stolen from: John Spilsbury, London mapmaker, 1760s — he glued a map to wood, cut along the borders, and called it a "dissected map." Every jigsaw since is his.
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🔢
pure logic
Sudoku
Every board has exactly one solution — generated and uniqueness-checked. No luck, no lies. Tap or type, pencil notes, four levels.
Stolen from: Howard Garns, retired Indiana architect — "Number Place," 1979 — renamed and beloved in Japan by Nikoli's Maki Kaji, the man who gave it to the world.
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🟦
self-scored
Museum Jeopardy
Every clue drawn from this house. Answer in the form of a question, reveal, and score yourself — the machine can't, only you can.
Stolen from: Merv Griffin's answer-first quiz show (1964) — legend says Julann Griffin suggested giving contestants the answers. Ours scores itself, because only humans can.
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🎲
4,500 years old · vs. computer
The Royal Game of Ur
The oldest game we still play. Race seven pieces home against the machine. Online-vs-a-friend coming with login.
Stolen from: the royal tombs of Ur, ~2600 BCE — rules recovered off a Babylonian clay tablet by Irving Finkel of the British Museum. The oldest theft on the shelf, cited with pride.
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🏓
vs. the machine
Pong
The original human-vs-machine showdown. First to 7 — the machine rallies all day and still can't be crowned. Only humans score.
Stolen from: Atari's Pong (Allan Alcorn, 1972) — which Magnavox said was borrowed from its Odyssey tennis game, and Atari settled. Stolen from the thieves; everyone cited.
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The fine print that isn't fine print — why "stolen" is the honest word and also a joke. Game mechanics can't be copyrighted; the law protects a game's expression — its art, its code, its words — never its rules. Every line of code in this arcade is original, written in this house; what's borrowed is the idea, which is exactly what ideas are for. So the cards name the humans who had them first, because crediting humans is the whole religion here: Copy me never, cite me always.™ And the price, plainly: the whole arcade costs less than a cup of coffee — it costs nothing. Free forever, no sign-up, no ads, nothing sold, works offline once loaded. Custom for all players by design: the reading-level slider (🎚️ in the ♿ menu) re-levels the whole house, Audio Mode reads pages aloud, everything runs keyboard-or-tap, reduced motion is honored, and teens play fully without giving up a byte of data.